The Problem of Hitting 'Send'

I knew I had to do it.
I just couldn't seem to make myself hit send.
My mouse sat near the send button.
God, give me the courage to send this.
Finally, I clicked the mouse.
It was sent.
Now, to wait for the reply.
Maybe this is a pride issue, but apologizing is not my favorite thing in the world.
But it has to be done.
I had known I needed to apologize to this person for a few weeks. I had made a rather sarcastic comment and felt bad about it. It wasn't anything big, but I really wished I hadn't said it, or at least had apologized sooner. Many a night in the past few weeks had I laid in bed, silently composing the apology email, only to find when morning came I had lost my nerve. Day after day and night after night this had gone on until finally this afternoon I sat down and typed it out.
Then came the problem of sending it.
And that was a bit of a problem.
I think I spell-checked it about six thousand times.
And then read it and re-read it about seven thousand times.
Finally, finally, I hit send-
-and it was gone.
I sat down after dinner to check my email.
She had already replied!
She told me that she accepted my apology, but it wasn't necessary...
Unless, of course, God had convicted me of it.
Which He did.
Even though it wasn't a big deal to her, it was to me.
And apparently it was to God, too.
I felt almost silly after reading her response, seeing as she said she wasn't even sure if she remembered what I had said.
But I'm so glad I hit send.
I feel so much lighter now.

PS.....I have a new blog!!! Don't worry, I'll still be posting on this one, but my friend (who has 11, soon to be 12 siblings) and I started a blog called Big Sisters, Big Families. (I love hyperlinks).
www.bigsistersbigfamilies.blogspot.com
Side note, I'd appreciate it if you guys would follow it....
I know all of you are there.
I see you through StatCounter.
I happen to know all ten of my followers personally. I love you guys...
But I still know the rest you are reading this:)

The What-If Express

I'm ba-ack!
Did you miss me?
Of course you did...
Right?
Not sure it you all saw my comment on Supersized, but I had been limiting my computer use and not watching TV for the month of October.
Anyhoo, last night some of my siblings and I sat down to watch 'It's a Meaningful Life'...the VeggieTales version of 'It's a Wonderful Life'. And who knew that even I, a 13 year old, could learn something from those little vegetables. Now, let me stop here and say that I have never seen It's a Wonderful Life, nor do I know anything about the plot. To be quite honest, the VeggieTales one kinda reminded me of a Christmas Carol, of all things. For those of you haven't seen the Veggie-spin on it, Larry the Cucumber stars as Stewart, who was a high school(or maybe college) football star. Horror of horrors, he misses the winning pass in the big game, and worse, he misses it to the decoy(tragic, right?) and then the decoy(that little squash guy, the one who sings about cheeseburgers) becomes a famous star while Stewart doesn't have as much money. He always wishes, If only I had made that catch.... life would be better. I'd be able to leave my small town. My family would have more money. And so on. He is jealous of that little yellow guy, named Morty in the movie.Then, a train, The What-If Express appears on the football field. Larry gets on, and meets a conductor named Gabe. Gabe shows him what life would be like if he had caught the ball. He shows him his life as a famous person(who is crabby all the time) what life would be like for his family(which didn't really exist since he never got married) and than the last stop is where he can make the choice to either stay in this new life, or go back to his old one. How often do we board the What-If Express(Also known as the Land of If Only.)It showed me that worrying and always thinking What If or If Only, we aren't really trusting God. When we go to the Land of If Only, we are pretty much saying, 'God, you must have not been paying attention or something, because this didn't turn out right.' We're doubting God's plan. We're doubting that God knows whats best for us. In essence, we're saying we know better than God. I read something today that said worry is a form of pride. We aren't trusting God enough to give him our problems.
Cast all your anxieties upon Him, for He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7
I love this verse. This topic is a big issue for me. I'm an anxious person. A worrywart. And I'm slowly starting to realize that that isn't simply a character trait, it can be a sin. It's the sin of doubting God's plan and provision. The sin of pride(because I'm not trusting God when he says he can handle my problems...better than I can.) God has been hammering this one on me the past few weeks. A message at youth group with the theme, Do Not Worry...."Do not be anxious about anything, but instead, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6. Learning about Moses in school. Moses didn't trust that God would provide him the ability to speak in front of the Israelites...and missed out on some blessings. Watching It's a Wonderful Life. The issue of Susie Magazine that came in the mail today. I guess God's trying to tell me some things...
DO. NOT. WORRY.
TRUST. IN. ME.
Another theme in the movie was comparing yourself to others. Stewart was comparing his life to Morty's. Another problem for me.
She's prettier.
People like him better.
She's better at (fill in the blank).
So next time you find yourself slipping away onto that train, remember.
God's got it under control.
"For I know the plan I have for you, declares the LORD. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"
Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Supersized

A huge bag of brown sugar, purchased at Sam's Club.(That's a lot of cookies)

Fifty pounds of flour.(Plus there's more in the pantry)

An average box of cereal comes with a toy. An enormous box of Corn Flakes comes with a pack of Crasins.(I know a box of Life cereal is a bit smaller than an average box, but it makes it a tad more dramatic:) )

Seven gallons. I couldn't get it in the picture, but there is two more in the door. Plus a half gallon of lactose free milk. Plus a half gallon of chocolate soy milk.(We go through about a gallon a day)

That's an average bag of chocolate chips for us (It's six times the size of a regular bag)

Twelve jars of creamy peanut butter (My mom bought the whole case at Aldi's)

Nine cups

(In size order, also age order)

We've got lots of shoes

(See my tye-dye rainbow crocs?)

A lot of the things you need for a supersized family come in a supersized amount.

(Someone told me we have enough to feed an army)

Names, Names

Alex, AJ, Hannah, Caley, JD, Riley and Zeke.
Alex, AJ, Hannah, Caley, JD, Riley, Zia and Zeke.
I think it sounds pretty good.
Zia and Zeke.
Zeke and Zia.
I guess we really like the Z's.
Soon enough(God willing) the second list shall be true.
That's right. We will soon be an eight kid family, made possible by adopting a six year old Zia.
Zia was born in India and abandoned. She lived in an orphanage for awhile until she was adopted by someone in California. Due to the circumstances, the adoptive parent can't keep her. She is living a group home right now, but we hope she'll come live with us soon.
She'll share a room with Caley and Riley. It'll be like having quadruplets-Caley is 7 months older than JD, JD is 6 months older than Riley, and Riley is 6 months older than Zia.
Just for the fun of it, I thought I'd post all of the meanings of our names. (FYI, we didn't pick names based on meaning, if you can't tell:) )

Alexandra- Defender of the People
Anthony- Unknown
Hannah- Grace
Caley- From the Jackdaw Clearing (WHAT?!)
Jonathan- God has given
Riley- Descendant of Roghallach (What in the world....)
Zia- Wheat, Grain
Ezekiel- God will Strengthen
Emily(mom's name)- To strive or excel or rival
Randy(dad's name)- Diminutive form of Randall or Miranda.